Guilt

Yes, this post is about guilt. Guilt I thought was only mine, but as it turns out, many writers have guilt. I should be writing this week (and more than one picture book), but I haven't. I wasn't even going to write the picture book, but just as I was falling asleep Tuesday night, it came to me and wouldn't stop until I'd written it all down. I'm glad I turned my light on and started scratching away at my notepad by my bed. But after all that...nothing!

I didn't work on my novel. And everyday I don't write, I hear that nagging voice in the back of my head. "You could be writing right now." "How will you ever become an author if you don't write everyday?" "How long will it take you to finish this book if you don't write it??" Yes, my voice is very annoying, but somewhat truthful. I know I won't just never pick up writing the novel again. It's a book I've revised many times, and this time, I'm completely rewriting it.

I'd like to blame sleep. I didn't get much the week before, and last weekend was full of family visiting time and cooking. So, this week, I've been mostly dead to the world. But a new weekend is looming ahead on the horizon, and I feel it's endless possibilities. Plus, my best friend/muse, Allie, berated me last night for feeling guilty (you know that just ends up with more guilty feelings, right?) She said that I should stop feeling guilty (duh) because I might come to feel of writing as a chore if I feel all this guilt about it. While she is partially correct, I think the guilt will always be there, and if it wasn't, that would be a sign that I didn't care anymore. That I had given up on writing. So, at the same time, guilt is a good thing. Who knew? But the one feeling that can never be beat? Complete elation when I've written tons and tons, and the words are flowing out of my fingers and accumulating on the page. That, my friends, feels wonderful.

Happy weekend and happy writing!