There Are No Rules

I'm sure every writer goes through a non-writing phase. Okay, not every writer. Because I happen to know one writer in particular who writes like a maniac and makes me look bad. Not that it's hard to do when my word count totals for a month don't reach even 5,000. I wrote so much in November, winning Nanowrimo. After that, I lost interest (or needed a break or something) with writing. Sure, I liked my story, but I couldn't find the motivation to write. And still, several months later, it's like pulling teeth. Or any dentistry work, for that matter.

But a few days ago, I was sifting through notes and papers and happened to look at the novel I had been working on last summer. You know, that manuscript you push aside and forget about because you lost interest? Well, guess what...12K into it and I dropped it at a perfectly easy spot to pick it back up.

But wait! I told myself. I must finish my Nano book. I'm less than 5,000 away from the ending. I could do that in a night or two if I really set my heart on it. But my summer book calls to me. Why do I like it now? Who knows! I don't even understand why I lost interest. But what I figured out is that there are no rules for writing a novel. Sure, if you have a contract, you better finish the book. And it better not suck. But me? I'm free as a bird. And last time I truly listened to my heart and wrote what I wanted, I loved writing so much I couldn't be stopped from working on that novel. So what is a girl to do? Trudge through the last 5k so I can get to the other book? Or just go straight for the prize: a book I'm excited about writing? I know the correct answer, at least for me...but who knows if I'll follow my heart or my head on this one.

Happy Writing!

Guilt

Yes, this post is about guilt. Guilt I thought was only mine, but as it turns out, many writers have guilt. I should be writing this week (and more than one picture book), but I haven't. I wasn't even going to write the picture book, but just as I was falling asleep Tuesday night, it came to me and wouldn't stop until I'd written it all down. I'm glad I turned my light on and started scratching away at my notepad by my bed. But after all that...nothing!

I didn't work on my novel. And everyday I don't write, I hear that nagging voice in the back of my head. "You could be writing right now." "How will you ever become an author if you don't write everyday?" "How long will it take you to finish this book if you don't write it??" Yes, my voice is very annoying, but somewhat truthful. I know I won't just never pick up writing the novel again. It's a book I've revised many times, and this time, I'm completely rewriting it.

I'd like to blame sleep. I didn't get much the week before, and last weekend was full of family visiting time and cooking. So, this week, I've been mostly dead to the world. But a new weekend is looming ahead on the horizon, and I feel it's endless possibilities. Plus, my best friend/muse, Allie, berated me last night for feeling guilty (you know that just ends up with more guilty feelings, right?) She said that I should stop feeling guilty (duh) because I might come to feel of writing as a chore if I feel all this guilt about it. While she is partially correct, I think the guilt will always be there, and if it wasn't, that would be a sign that I didn't care anymore. That I had given up on writing. So, at the same time, guilt is a good thing. Who knew? But the one feeling that can never be beat? Complete elation when I've written tons and tons, and the words are flowing out of my fingers and accumulating on the page. That, my friends, feels wonderful.

Happy weekend and happy writing!