Another Marvelous Monday

Here is where you roll your eyes like I did.

I have another midterm looming in the horizon. Tomorrow night to be specific. I'm not sure I've spoken about this class. It's American Literature after the Civil War. I had looked forward to reading Hemingway, Twain and Fitzgerald. And not because I particularly love those authors, but in order to teach them, I wanted to learn more about them and their masterworks. But alas, it was not meant to be.

The professor specializes in poetry, so instead of classics, we are reading American Modern Poetry. I'm not a fan of poems. I am not a snob, but sometimes, I just can't stand a poem that is hard to understand, that takes way more time to read than fifteen pages of a book.

So here I am, the weekend before my midterm, trying to memorize who wrote which poem and make sure I am able to even identify the poem without the title and author. (Part of the test). Then I need to compose an essay to write during the test, comparing two poems. I really hope my head doesn't explode from this. It would be messy and I'm sure it won't feel very good.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is near. Not the semester end (which is my favorite date right now), but once I get past tests and papers and have about a month until the next wave of tests and papers.

Should I do Nanowrimo? I'm not quite sure yet. It's possible that I would find it relaxing, but it's also possible that it could put me over the edge. What about Nanoedimo? That, I might be able to handle...

Making the Grade

I am a stickler for grades. Always have been, apparently, always will be. Yesterday, right before my first midterm, our teacher returned our papers to us. And I, delighted that I was getting my grade back so soon, looked at the paper before I started my exam. B++

What does that mean? I can only guess it means an 89. I saw another classmate's grade: D+ Ouch. But still, I feel bad about my B. I wanted an A. And for those fearing for my future children's grades, fear not! I am way harder on myself than others.

The problem I have is that the paper was on two poems we covered intimately in class. And the teacher marked me down for mentioning passages we went over. She had hoped I would use passages that weren't discussed in such detail. Umm, anyone see the problem here? We covered the entirety of the poems. Esp. the important details -- which were (you guessed it) important to my argument. *sigh* Academia. There is no changing the grade, but at least she suggested I use this topic for the second paper of the semester. Does that mean it will be easier? I certainly hope so. And there may be hope yet for an A in this class.

I better get an A. Or else I'm grounding myself. Maybe.

Back to Blogging, Back to School

Thanks, Charlie, for reminding me about my blog. I didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted.

In May I applied to graduate school for secondary education in English. I got in! It's my alma mater, so it wasn't surprising. I'm about a month and a half into the semester and while both classes (I'm only taking two) are undergraduate, they are still challenging. The English certification is comprised mostly of undergraduate survey classes. And the hard part isn't what they cover, but finding time to do classwork. Because I'm still working full-time.

Then there's my writing. What writing you say? Exactly. I haven't worked on my novel since August, but I worked darn hard to edit it then. Maybe come Nano month, I will work on it or another project. Time will tell. But the one thing I've really learned so far?

Going back to school isn't as glamorous as it seemed this summer. 

It's a lot of sacrifice. Like last weekend. I spent the majority of it working on two papers and getting all my reading for Monday and Tuesday done. But I guess I can rest easy the rest of the week, seeing as how I edited both papers and finished even Wednesday's reading. The one thing that makes me smile? The majority of students in my class, as of last night, had not even written one word of their six-page paper that is due tomorrow. And me? Seven pages and printed. That counts as writing, doesn't it?

There Are No Rules

I'm sure every writer goes through a non-writing phase. Okay, not every writer. Because I happen to know one writer in particular who writes like a maniac and makes me look bad. Not that it's hard to do when my word count totals for a month don't reach even 5,000. I wrote so much in November, winning Nanowrimo. After that, I lost interest (or needed a break or something) with writing. Sure, I liked my story, but I couldn't find the motivation to write. And still, several months later, it's like pulling teeth. Or any dentistry work, for that matter.

But a few days ago, I was sifting through notes and papers and happened to look at the novel I had been working on last summer. You know, that manuscript you push aside and forget about because you lost interest? Well, guess what...12K into it and I dropped it at a perfectly easy spot to pick it back up.

But wait! I told myself. I must finish my Nano book. I'm less than 5,000 away from the ending. I could do that in a night or two if I really set my heart on it. But my summer book calls to me. Why do I like it now? Who knows! I don't even understand why I lost interest. But what I figured out is that there are no rules for writing a novel. Sure, if you have a contract, you better finish the book. And it better not suck. But me? I'm free as a bird. And last time I truly listened to my heart and wrote what I wanted, I loved writing so much I couldn't be stopped from working on that novel. So what is a girl to do? Trudge through the last 5k so I can get to the other book? Or just go straight for the prize: a book I'm excited about writing? I know the correct answer, at least for me...but who knows if I'll follow my heart or my head on this one.

Happy Writing!

You Don't Know Yourself

I've come to the conclusion that the average person does not know themselves nearly as well as they think they do. Sure, this generalization is based on my experiences, but not just one experience, I'm basing it on several.

This morning, I went to work and immediately got a tension headache. That's nothing new. If you told me that the headaches were all in my head (no pun intended, Pat), I wouldn't be able to disagree with you. Who knows why it gives me headaches, but one thing I do know is that it has stopped me from writing when I get home. Spending hours at a computer and answering phone calls has taken a toll on me and I was anti-computer for quite a while. All I wanted to do was relax my poor little head. And today was no different. But was it?

Today is the first day of Nanowrimo. For those of you who don't know what it means, it's National Novel Writing Month. Thirty days to reach 50,000 words. And they don't even have to be good words, although for my own peace of mind my words will actually relate to the novel I'm trying to create.

So, on day one of Nano, what were my thoughts? Was I pumped up? Excited? No. I was thinking of quitting already. I was tired and cranky and all I wanted to do was sleep. I even have a bet going as more incentive to reach 50K and I was almost willing to throw it all away. How can I write a novel in a month when I don't even want to sit at my computer? When I have no energy to even ponder my novel?

But did I give up? No. I made it through work. I exercised and ate a good dinner and then I got down to my novel. And while I haven't yet reached the daily goal of 1,667 words, I'm only 300 shy of that goal. And I just wanted to say, to myself and to everyone else out there that doubts themselves from time to time, you can do it. You don't know you'll fail. You don't know what you'll create either. But there is one thing you can be sure of, you have no idea what you're capable of, unless you try.